A Modest Proposal To Keep The North Shore Country

It is time for the residents of the North Shore of Oahu to commit to reversing the changes that are threatening our idyllic lifestyle. While the government take over of Turtle Bay is a step in Keeping The North Shore Country, it is going to take a long time to implement and it is only stopping future impacts to the North Shore. What we need are a series of initiatives that stop the destruction of our environment that can be implemented quickly and would have an immediate impact on mitigating traffic, creating affordable housing and reversing the tidal wave of visitors that swamp our infrastructure.

I propose the following initiatives. Collectively they would change the North Shore. They could be started almost immediately. They would all contribute revenue to the government that could then be used to purchase Turtle Bay and other valuable land. The capital investment in these ideas is minimal; the labor to enforce the changes is already in place. The impact of these changes enormous. I have outlined them below with a brief description of the benefits and how the initiatives can be implemented.

1) Close The Parking Lot Mauka of Laniakea (Turtle Beach) - This would have an immediate impact on the bottleneck that routinely occurs at this spot. There is an ambitious plan to reroute the road there but it is years if not decades away. I suggest shutting down the head in parking on the Mauka side of the road immediately. Make it illegal to park there and you will eliminate the hazardous vehicle and pedestrian traffic that make a mess all the time. Let Kawailoa Ranch charge for parking and put a cross walk there to let people cross in one controlled spot. Ticket the illegally parked tour busses (that spew their noxious gasses), cars, jaywalkers, etc. You won’t eliminate the surf rubber neckers or looky loos, but it will end the bottle neck and all you have to do is put up “No Parking” signs, if they don’t work some put some rocks there.

2) Institute A 5 Year Moratorium On All Professional Surf Contests - If this were California, there is no way that any local surfers or residents would allow all of these contests and the subsequent professional dominance of the surf season to occur in the entire State, none the less just 7 miles. No community in their right mind would tolerate a Super Bowl, Kentucky Derby, Indy 500 for 3 continuous months a year, EVERY YEAR. Instead of the annual catfight over the beach access I suggest they all get shut down (keep amatuer contests only). Put them on the West Side where they really could use the money and infusion of tourism, but do not allow this continue on the North Shore. This coupled with the next two suggestions will eliminate the hyper inflated rental charges, the crowding that occurs from the surf media, surf companies, surf fans and surf tourists who all contribute to the degradation of our surfing lifestyle. This will leave the waves open to those who deserve them, the locals who live here.

3) Tax The Corporate Surf Houses At A Commercial Rate - If Halliburton, Blackstone and Exxon owned houses on the beach of the North Shore and gave all of their executives free rent, food, booze and threw lavish nightly parties for them, the entire State of Hawaii would be in an uproar. But under the guise of being a “cool” company, the surf industry is doing the same thing. These multi billion dollar companies are buying up precious beachfront houses here on the North Shore and are using those houses to promote their brands and sponsored athletes. These companies are exploiting our environment and ruining our neighborhood for their profit. These houses are 100% commercial entities. I contend that as such, this is an illegal usage in residential neighborhoods. While it would be problematic to ban them, at the very least they should be taxed at a commercial rate for the business houses they own. Every house they buy is off the market and drives up the prices for all the other homes in the area. They have a real impact on property tax values because the homes are zoned residential. Use the increased property taxes to buy Turtle Bay

4) Issue 1099’s To The Professional Surfers For Their North Shore Perks - Most lavish perks are now taxed. The gift packages that the actors and musicians get at the Oscars and Grammy’s are taxed. I suggest that the IRS and the State of Hawaii require that the surf companies be required to issue 1099s for the perks that professional surfers receive when they are visiting the North Shore. These professionals are working here. Just look at the lineup of photographers on the beach, in the water, the writers who are staking out spots in Foodland to cover these people. When a surfer gets his air fare, luggage charges, free rent, free food, free car, free parties all supplied so the surf companies can promote their brands through their surfing on our waves on the North Shore, than this is commercial taxable income. These people are not coming here for love, they are getting paid and getting free stuff that should qualify as pay. How much would the tsunami of surfers be diminished if they had to pay their own way to get here? That along with taxing the houses would eliminate the myth of the "free" spirited surfer. They are corporate tools and should pay income taxes the same way you and I do, then use the extra money to buy Turtle Bay.

5) Crack Down On Illegal Vacation Rentals – Illegal vacation rentals are rampant on the North Shore, they are all over the place. These illegal businesses keep houses out of inventory that would go to residents. They illegally inflate property values and the income keeps houses from getting to an affordable level. They are bad neighbors. Change the law or enforce the law, fine the heck out of them and use the money to buy Turtle Bay Resort.

6) Crack Down On Illegal Rental Units – There are tons of houses on the North Shore that have illegal rental units that are against zoning laws. I would estimate that 50 % of houses have an illegal unit. Homeowners are not declaring the rental income; the extra cars and people are swamping our roads and infrastructure. If you could enforce the law and fine these illegal units and make the owners eliminate them you might wind up diminishing the population here by 15 to 30%. Think about how much that would do for clearing up traffic, taking people off the beach and opening up the surf spots. By taking away this illegal income, people would no longer be able to subsidize their homes with this illegal money and they would have to sell their houses at reasonable prices to residents.